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I Am the Light in My Darkness

I Practice What I "Preach"

I was raised with the knowledge that I have free will and the power to change my mind!  I am the Light in My Darkness!

I was always self-conscious but now I don't see it as a bad thing, because it translates into a great Self Awareness.  I had a bit of a rough start in my life with the environment I was born into.  No blame here, just acknowledging what my human journey has been, and I know I am far from the only one, and not even the worst case out there, but no matter what it still had an affect on my person.  Don't compare your story to others, believe me it doesn't help much at all.  We are all here on Earth at this amazing time in history, on our own personal journeys, together, our individuality is key.  We are all an essential intricate part of the Whole Wide Wonderful Expanding Universe. TRUTH!  Believe it or not makes no difference to the Fact!  Science is just catching up to this now.

My Biological Father is an alcoholic, maybe in recovery I don't know I haven't heard from him in years.  He was very fun yet very scary at the same time.  I don't have much memory from early childhood.  But through school and personal reflection and therapy, I have been able to acknowledge the abuses I have experienced as a child, that caused a lasting affect on me and in my body.  But also helped me to strengthen my connection with spirit and that Beautiful Force of Creation that connects us all.

I have acknowledged the suppressed memories of abuse, only for myself, I see no need to go back and get all the details.  I am not pursuing charges or any legal matters around it.  It is for me to understand myself more, and my body and physical reactions and response to the things around me.

My body doesn't handle extreme emotion any more, either happy or sad mad or glad, any excess of emotion sends my body into spasms.  So I have had to learn how to work WITH my body and NOT try to make it work FOR me.  I am listening to what my body tells me it truly needs, instead of others opinions of what it looks like I need, and what they think I should do.   It is nothing personal I know their intentions are to help, but I am the one living in here, learning and translating the language of my body.  I know more now, more than ever, what it needs and that simply is to slow down and take in all the beauty around me.  To finally follow my own advice to enjoy every age and every stage, we only get to live them once each lifetime.  That's what I choose to believe.

So there is a quick snap shot.  I will add or edit more.  Anything you would like to know about me or my own Begin Within journey specifically?  I am an open book.

Much Love

Peace

Christianna

Sweetgrass Water Medicine Woman of Eagle Clan

Peterborough, Ontario